No, Karen. You Can’t be a Priest.

You know what’s really tiresome? Watching another panel of self-anointed feminist theologians, clutching their lattes and pink protest signs, screech about the “patriarchal oppression” of the Catholic Church because—brace yourself—they can’t be priests. Yes, apparently the Church’s greatest crime isn’t defending the deposit of faith for two millennia or safeguarding the Eucharist from heresy, but daring to tell Becky from the parish council that she can’t consecrate bread and wine.

Cue the predictable sob story: “The Church is subjugating women, silencing their voices, perpetuating patriarchy!” Insert dramatic fainting couch here. But here’s the inconvenient reality that destroys the whole narrative: Christ Himself instituted the priesthood, and He, being God, had the divine authority to establish it exactly as He intended. And—spoiler alert—He chose men. Only men. Forever. End of story.

The Feminist Fairytale vs. The Catholic Reality

Feminists cling to the fantasy that the priesthood is about “power.” If only they could don the Roman collar, they’d finally smash the patriarchy and bask in ecclesial glory. Sorry, no. The priesthood isn’t a political office, it’s a sacramental vocation configured to Christ the Bridegroom, who offers Himself to His Bride, the Church (Eph. 5:25–27).

A priest stands in persona Christi—in the person of Christ—especially at the altar during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. The Council of Trent states clearly:

“In the New Testament, the Catholic Church has received from the Lord’s institution a new, visible, and external priesthood… which has succeeded the old.” (Session 23, Ch. 1)

Christ is male. His Incarnation was not some arbitrary choice; it was divinely willed. He is the Bridegroom, and the priest who re-presents Him in the Eucharist must also be male. This isn’t misogyny. It’s metaphysics.

Sacred Tradition Has Spoken

For 2,000 years, the Church—East and West—has upheld the male-only priesthood. Not once in all of history, in the Apostolic Fathers, in the Desert Fathers, in the great Doctors of the Church, do we see a precedent for female ordination. St. John Paul II put the final nail in the coffin of feminist whining in Ordinatio Sacerdotalis (1994):

“The Church has no authority whatsoever to confer priestly ordination on women and… this judgment is to be definitively held by all the Church’s faithful.”

Translation: The Pope isn’t oppressing you, Karen. He’s telling you he literally cannot ordain you. The Church doesn’t have the power to contradict Christ. Someone needs to tell “Father Anne” this reality. The Church also needs to inform these Pagan Priestesses out in California in their 501(c)3 masquerading and cosplaying Catholicism. And, these too.

Patriarchy? Please.

Now, about that overused word: “patriarchy.” Feminists say it like it’s a swear word. But here’s the irony: the Catholic Church has elevated women more than any other institution in human history. You want to whine about patriarchy while kneeling before the Blessed Virgin Mary, Queen of Heaven and Earth? The woman who crushes the serpent’s head (Gen. 3:15), whom every priest, bishop, and pope bows to in humble devotion?

Try telling St. Catherine of Siena—who called out corrupt popes to their faces—that she was “silenced.” Tell St. Teresa of Ávila, a Doctor of the Church, that she was “oppressed.” These women wielded more spiritual influence than any modern activist with a bullhorn and a pink hat. The saints don’t need ordination to reshape the Church.

The Priesthood Is Service and Sacrifice, Not a Trophy

Let’s dismantle another feminist delusion: that priesthood equals status. Wrong. The priesthood is about sacrifice, not privilege. As Pius XI taught in Ad Catholici Sacerdotii (1935):

“The priest is not for himself but for you, exercising his office not for his own interests but for yours.”

The priest exists to lay down his life as Christ did. He doesn’t climb the clerical ladder to bask in glory. He becomes a living victim, a man configured to the Cross. If that sounds like “male privilege” to you, I’d love to see your face when you realize it means celibacy, poverty, and offering your body and soul daily on behalf of an often thankless flock.

Subjugation? More Like Salvation

So, no—women aren’t “subjugated” by being excluded from ordination. They are exalted by their own vocation. Marriage, consecrated virginity, motherhood, religious life—each offers sanctity uniquely tailored to the feminine genius. As Pope Pius XII reminded the faithful:

“Each sex is called to a special mission in the building up of civilization and the Kingdom of God.” (Allocution to Newlyweds, 1942)

In other words, stop envying the gifts you weren’t given. The hand doesn’t complain it isn’t the eye (1 Cor. 12:14–20). The Church needs both, but you don’t hear the kneecap demanding to be the brain.

Take a seat, Feminists

The push for women’s ordination is nothing more than warmed-over clericalism mixed with gender ideology. It reduces the sacred to politics, the altar to a stage, the priesthood to a power trip. Christ’s priesthood is not up for renegotiation. The Council of Trent, Sacred Tradition, and every pope worth his miter have said the same thing: No women in the priesthood. Ever.

If you want to scream about oppression, go ahead. But the reality is this: the Catholic Church reveres women as queens, saints, and mothers of the faith. And if that’s not good enough for you, perhaps the problem isn’t patriarchy.

It’s your pride